Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

Posted on October 8, 2010


And he is greedy and lactose intolerant.

Dear manufacturers of SILK Soymilk,

Mint chocolate flavor? I know this was made for me and only me and I thank you. The care and attention you have shown to create a flavor that I suggested in response to your facebook wall query a couple of years ago really touches my heart. I know you read my post and were like, We have to get this genius flavor to this man’s mouth immediately! It’s things like that which really inspire devotion to a brand. So you have my heartfelt appreciation.

I am slightly confused as to why you didn’t just send cases of it directly to my home and insist on making me go to the grocery store to procure new pints. Probably just because you knew my refrigerator at home couldn’t sustain such volume? Wise deduction, I’ll grant you. It’s kind of a pain to have to pick up new cartons so frequently, but I’ll let it slide. Tangentially, if you receive a subpoena to appear in court to testify on a case about how some “crazed” man was held on charges of elbowing senior ladies in the face in the dairy aisle, don’t worry about it. I’m quite sure it will all pass quickly, and I’m sure “the man” “in question” is sorry to even have you involved. But those old bitches just would not get the point. It’s MY FLAVOR, grandma!!

Anyway. It is a welcome addition to the holiday line which already included my favorites of Nog and Spice so I’ll be sure to try to share some of this wonderful nectar with anyone who might wanna stop by my house and sample about an eighth of a cup of it. Good tidings and cheer!

With love,

the moody box fan


Posted in: moody ramblings